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Showing posts from 2018

A Season of Pruning

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What's that dead weight you're carrying around?

Things just seem to unknowingly latch on to us while we live our lives. It could be that sitcom we can't get up from binge watching. Maybe it's a relationship that doesn't seem to have boundaries. If we actually take a real close look at the flow of our week, I'll bet we could identify a few things that are dead weight and need to be pruned.

Reasons to prune plants include deadwood removal, shaping (by controlling or redirecting growth), improving or sustaining health.
- Wikipedia | Pruning
There may even be a few things that are important enough not to stop doing, but maybe we can manage them better or realign them?

A good coach will ask the question, "what are you tolerating?" Take a second to think about that. What in the world are you tolerating that needs to be eliminated, minimized, managed or realigned?

We want to be able to manage a harmonious journey for the things that are in our control. In n…

Laugh A Little

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What is your humor quotient?

I'm sure you have heard it said that laughter is the best medicine. If that is true then, maybe we can self prescribe a few big laughs. Bad thinking, that can lead to depression, confusion, self pity, frustration, etc. is all antithetical to moving forward. Humor is the skill. Laughter is the healing.

There are dozens of phrases that express the vitality of laughter. Here are a few for fun:

There is little success where there is little laughter. - Andrew Carnegie1 Laughter and joy are part of the beauty of life.  - Diogo Morgado1 Comedy is defiance. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale. - Will Durst1 As soap is to the body, so laughter is to the soul. - A Jewish Proverb2 Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand. - Mark Twain2 He that is of a merry heart has a continual feast. - Proverbs 15:152
A Student of Humor and Laughter Laughter can replace frustra…

The Form of Gratitude

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So, what form does your gratitude take?

Let's just cut to the chase... it's no secret that gratitude is a life giving force. It may very well have the greatest impact on our fulfillment in life.

Gratitude is one of those values that can get crowded out of our busy lifestyle. We just don't seem to have time to stop and think about it. And that's it... it takes thinking. It's not necessarily an autonomic response. We need to do it on purpose.

The great thing about it is, it's completely under our control. We can do it whenever we choose to and there are so many wonderful ways to express it.

Undervalued No More We are all different but there are some values that truly are universal. Gratitude is one of them. You know it when you see it kinda thing. Gratitude is much like forgiveness. It affects those we express it to in fantastic ways, and yet, has an even greater impact on our own wellbeing.

This life coach is going to take you right into the heart of your fulfi…

Vocabulary | A Reflection of Who We Are

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What do I say and how should I say it? Vocabulary is a reflection of our who we are, but not necessarily who we want to be. It informs our vision of life and oppresses it or sets it free.

Addressing our vocabulary isn't necessarily a moral work. It's a creative work!

With a quick Google search you can find articles telling us, that it's the really smart people who use curse words in their daily conversation but I don't think that's true. It's more likely a lack of creativity.

The smartest person in the room is not the guy/gal spewing profanities. It's the person with a "higher" word stock that breathes creativity and inspiring thoughts that builds themselves and others up.

Bad verbiage is rarely inspirational. It may be functional, but don't we have a vision of our life that is more than functional? You bet, we do!

Lazy Is As Lazy Does We see in comedy, the lazy comedian goes right at the vile and vulgar to get the laughs. The thoughtful and …

A Quick Diagnostic | What Have I Overlooked?

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Sometimes we get super busy and put far more things on the back burner than we wish we had. Some of those things can get forgotten in the rush. The disquieting part is, some of those things impact our ability to hold up our values.

What have I been putting on the back burner?

Is there something there that should have never been diminished?

How does that thing reflect on who I am and the values I want to hold up?

Values/Behaviors/Habits If we can find that thing that has been crowded out of our life and work it back into our daily walk, we may find our fulfillment is enhanced. It's a good, quick maintenance check-in to keep the main things, the main things!

What does this value/behavior/habit look like now?

What makes this so important?

How can I make this a natural part of my day?

What are the obstacles for doing it well?

How do I minimize distraction and maximize integration of this value/behavior/habit?

Tech Speak Analogies for Fun!Definition of Diagnostic Programs These progra…

What'cha Think'n?

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What are you thinking about?

Nothing comes out that doesn't first go in. Since Netflix, Facebook, Twitter, professors, friends, family and co-workers are what's going in, guess what inevitably has to come out?

That is not to say that anyone of those are bad. The idea is to get your mind wrapped around what is shaping your thoughts. This is probably not a big secret but may very well be an aspect of a fulfilling life that gets neglected.

So, let's do a little coaching to move us forward in this meaningful area of self awareness. Specifically asking, what is influencing our thinking? Then let's put our foot down on what needs to go and what needs to be added.

A Game Changing Challenge Schedule a day to raise your awareness of what is coming out of your mouth. That's usually a good indication of what has went in. The scary part is that, if what is coming out of my mouth is a lower standard than I want, maybe my actions have been compromised as well.

Where do you thin…

The Language of Flowers

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This one is fun and mostly for the fellas, but you ladies may find some value here.

Flowers are powerful. They have the ability to send many messages. It could be gratitude, love, sympathy, get well, I support you, I'm sorry, and just about any other positive sentiment you can think of.

I will confess right now. I really do not understand the impact that flowers have on the ladies. I just know they do. We as the giver may have our intentions as to why we are giving the flowers but the message received is 100% on what the receiver is thinking.

You can look up what the color of flowers represent and the effect of aromas but there is another language, "Flower" language, that speaks words and conveys thoughts that we fellas cannot.

Just a Few Examples I give flowers to say, "thank you."
They are received as, "he apologizes."

I give flowers to say, "I dig you."
They are received as, "he supports me."

I give flowers to say, "I hope…

Too Much Information

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We have a true modern day challenge. There's unlimited information and we want it all, but it's just not possible. What we are observing is, our society is getting overwhelmed with too much information (TMI) and it's perpetuated by our desire to soak it all in. This should tell us that the fix to this "overwhelm" is within ourselves.

Now there may be many ways to combat the endless live stream of data, but how about this one?

Temet Nosce | Know Thyself
To do this, we are going to need some time to thoughtfully answer a few vital questions we haven't been asking. Take a shot at these questions and compare your answers to what you see happening in your TMI moments.

Who are you? What gets you excited?What is important in your life?What values do you cherish the most?How do you uphold the values that represent you?Where do you want to go?What would be an even a bigger vision to the previous question?
Values Inspection Those are values questions. The answer to the…

Your People Strategy

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We can feel like we need to accomplish, alone. This is simply not the truth. Fullness in our life requires us to connect with others. We don't need to have dozens of friends but we do need a few friends... a few good ones, that is.

There isn't a study out there that shows that human beings are better off in solitary. In fact, it's the exact opposite. Is it true that we have been hurt, slighted, mistreated and/or misunderstood by people? Yep! Yet, the happiest, most fulfilled people have these tragic stories, just like us. I guarantee it!

So, what is the secret? Connect with people, but not just any people. Create a "people strategy" and do it on purpose.

Find someone to help or serve, on purpose. Make a friend, on purpose. Interview a mentor, on purpose. 
The good news is you get to pick your friends. Let's avert our focus from the quality of our friendships and instead, examine the quality of our choice in friends. 
Our friendships are a reflection of the va…

Designing Peaceful Moments

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Thinking.

When do we really get a chance to slow our mind, sit and soak in our own thoughts?

We go from moment to moment, reacting to input that doesn't seem to stop or even slow down. It has the making of an I Love Lucy, episode of comedy and tragedy, that goes something like this: Lucy and Ethel wrap chocolates!

Masters of Time If we can't think, we can't be ourselves and since we are moving from task to task all week it doesn't leave us with much time to actually think. We become expert at simply responding and diminished in creativity, patience and an additional long list of other virtues that get neglected.

Time is what it is. So, we have to make it serve our needs. It is a courageous and proactive step to block out and guard our time to give our mind a chance to work for us rather than always giving it over to everyone and everything else.

It may seem as if we need to get away from the noise because the noise is bad or evil. It's not! The noise is not the en…

Who You Love is Who You Serve

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Love has a way of being tricky to identify. If we want to step back and evaluate who and what we love, we can take a look at who and what we serve. Where do we spend our time? Who gets our attention? Who are we thinking about?

Serving and Fulfillment Where you put your effort is where you love. Now, we generally only have these discussion about romantic love, but that's not what we are talking about here. Romantic love has a way of taking care of itself. What we are talking about is our core values and how we are committed to them.

Unfortunately, our values are not always reflected in our lives, the way we wished they were.

We love many people in our lives. We love God, our spouse, our parents, our children, our friends and others. A good measure of how much we love someone is revealed in how we serve them.

Where we serve has a big impact on our fulfillment. If we say we love our family but we don't serve them well, we will ultimately get down the road and be unfulfilled. We …

What do you want?

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Take a second to think. What do you really want? Many times we'll find that what we want is actually something that we feel is "missing." When we feel like something is missing in our lives we crave a variety of solutions that may not be the solution to get you where you want to go.

The sooner you find out what these things are, the sooner you can understand and fill that gap with the the right things. If we can avoid or at least minimize missteps along the way we can get there quicker and maybe even redeem our time a bit.

Let's Work Through It What is Missing? Make a quick list of what you feel like you are missing. Write these things down. This could be anything from a car to a mindset. Maybe it's a relationship, health or a feeling. Maybe it's several things. Take time to brainstorm as big of list as you can.

Set a timer for 10 minutes and stay in a focused brainstorm mode until it goes off. If you run out of ideas 3 minutes in, stay in this thoughtful mod…

Pick a Dream To Coach Around

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Have you ever thought about getting your own Life Coach? If you did, what would you like to be coached around?

Let's get to it! Following is a very short list of common reasons someone connects with a coach, for perspective, planning and determining what it's going to take to achieve. Which objectives stand out? What other objectives are on your mind that will require smart planning and strategizing for tomorrow?

Life-work balance.Improving relationships.Mentoring/Discipleship development.Better performance.Discovering your passion.Losing weight.Improved fitness.Advance management skills.Career transition.Veteran transition.Starting a business.Planning for college.Raising productivity.Stress management.  What has to change to get to where you want to be?
Planning and Strategy Planning and strategy are far too many times, things that we overlook. We'll spend hours and days putting together campaigns, sales pitches, and getting training for the company we work for, but barel…

How Do You Get Focused?

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Have you had those moments where you have far too many things to do and have a hard time trying to figure out which critical task to start with? Oh, yea, for sure. Anyone who has marked out their path, with even the most modest of goals, is going to continually run into the "more tasks than time" dilemma.

So, let's not take up more of your time and get to the point. We recommend that you continue to use strategies that you have found effective but then test the following mindset strategy to see how you can best implement it.

We know there is no one strategy of focus for all of humanity. We need to discover what calms our soul and moves us forward on an individual basis. So, take a moment and see how you can integrate the following steps that help us get focused.
Stop what I'm doing.Forget everything else. Hyper focus on my first task.Be grateful.A peaceful demeanor.Make it a competition/contest.Celebrate... every chance you get!
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Take Action! Stop everything I&#…

What is a Discipleship Coach?

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There are several skills used in Professional Coaching that are developed through use, experience under different conditions, understanding the language of coaching and an acute intuition. There may be other specific factors for coaches in different niches, but the mindset, execution and skill set has many commonalities across coaching specialties.

The Life Coaching Industry One factor that can play an important role in coaching is experience in the specialty the client is being coached around. If you know anything about coaching, you probably know that coaches focus on drawing out the values and knowledge in their clients, to help them reach their objectives.

The coach is curious and helps hold focus on the clients stated objectives, on behalf of the client. Coaches believe that the client has the answers but not necessarily the questions that reveal those answers. So a coach remains invisible. Coaches get a lot of "thank you's" but in the end the client finds their ow…